I don’t really even know where to begin. Jake’s life so far has been amazing. That's a bit scary to think about. His whole LIFE. He's growing and growing and getting more of a personality every day. So much time has already escaped me that i'm determined to blog to give myself a record of his little life to go back to when we're older.
I’m a SAHM for now, which I love, but it definitely has it’s challenges, like missing Collective Soul downtown. Right now. As I type.
I’m doing fairly well with the restrictions new motherhood puts on you. It’s much less of a burden to go places with car seats and strollers and a thousand blankets, burp cloths and diapers than it was at first. I dreaded leaving the house, actually. I can barely remember the days of “Oh, let me stop in here for a minute I forgot the milk. No parking spots? I don’t mind walking. Oops, I think I forgot to lock the car. Let me run back and check.” And then being well on my way home five minutes later. Now, I’ve just about mastered the art of carefully planning my grocery trips around naps, crying spells and projectile vomit.
And it’s nice to get out of the house every once in a while.
That’s been my biggest challenge so far. Not that I really went out a lot before he was born, it’s like the saying you don’t know what you have ‘till it’s gone. It’s not that I’m a huge fan of Collective Soul. It’s just what I could be doing, where I could be going, with people I could be meeting. But, if I had the choice, I wouldn’t go back. No way in hell. Even if I am fat, a little bit lazy, and unemployed, (three things I never ever wanted to be).
I’m happy.
I don’t get angry when I wake up to screams coming from the next room. I am excited to see him in the morning, which is huge because I am NOT a morning person.
I don’t get mad when he throws up all over me, the couch, the carpet and the dog. I think it’s cute sometimes. Yes, it’s an inconvenience but who really cares. It’s my couch, carpet, clothes and dog. I’m lucky to have all of those things, not to mention Jake, so I’ll clean them up as much as I need to.
I don’t mind changing diapers, even when it makes me gag. THAT is a strange feeling. When you are completely grossed out but still want to hug and squeeze the thing that made you feel that disgusting, you know you love them.
But I’m fairly certain that all mothers feel that way. My point is that the transition to motherhood has been smooth. Much smoother than I thought it would be. And I’m blessed with a son that likes to sleep at night, on his own (even if I do trick him by letting him fall asleep holding him). I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that. I don’t know how some mothers do it, because the first few nights I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it. They are much stronger than I.
But enough about me. On to Jake.
He’s becoming quite the decisive little boy. He has a mean kung fu ninja death grip and I could have sworn the days of him kicking me in the ribs were over.
Nope.
He is getting so long that he barely fits on the couch when he lies next to my leg. One day he was just so BIG, even though I already knew that he weighed 15 pounds, and he probably gained some more by now. It is true, they do grow up fast.
So, these days I’m just trying my best to take advantage of the fact that I get to spend all my time with him, and at the same time to not get too discouraged that I get to spend ALL my time with him. What a conundrum. Ha!Just kidding.
But, in the end, who could be discouraged about spending all her time with a kid that smiles like this?
I love him more every single day.
